And I Shall Believe...

The next morning, after our revelation...the doctors office called bright and early.  There were a few things to go over.  First, Dr. Brown wanted me to go in that day for an ultra sound.  It would verify the pregnancy and we could also date the pregnancy.  (I had a little problem in that I had NO IDEA when my last period was.  When you are told you can't have children, its just not something you watch that closely.)  Second, because of the nature of our fertility problems...our pregnancy was considered high risk.  High risk for various reasons.  First, there was a good chance that the baby would have problem or complications.  In fact, the Dr. was concerned about a miscarriage.  Dr. Brown also wanted us to work closely with a fetal medicine which would also include a genetic counselor.  Hum...probably the reasons why we didn't want to get our hopes up.

So...a few short hours later I was headed to my first ever ultrasound.  I cannot explain how I was feeling.  I never ever thought I would ever be able to go to my own ultrasound.  If I hadn't been in so much pain from all the water I had drank, I would have been crying the whole time.  (Now...I should say that I have had MANY ultra sounds before.  During IVF you have an ultra sound every visit, however they are usually looking at just your ovaries.)  As the girl was looking she finally found...

Our little baby.  

At this point I was just bawling and I am sure the tech thought I was crazy.  Eventually she went and got her supervisor who came in.  He was actually very familiar with the IVF process having started out doing ultra sounds for the Endocrinologists up at the U.   He was amazing and took tons and tons of pictures for me.  There was only one question I really wanted to know...and I know they weren't suppose to tell me, but I asked anyway...does the baby have a heart beat?...Right then and there he pointed out the flutter in the picture which was the heart beat.  Our baby had a heart beat!  And he said it was very strong and that everything looked really good.  I think I hugged them both about a hundred times.  I don't think they will ever understand how much I needed them and their words.  At this point...I'll be honest...I started to believe.