Cut Me Open...

Last Monday, I went in to see the dermatologist.  I have really been needing to see him for about a year; however, I have really really procrastinated this visit.  I just kept putting him off and putting him off.  Finally, I decided that I really needed some new cream for my eczema, so I made an appointment.  I actually changed that appointment twice because "other things came up."  Honestly, I just didn't want to go so any reason at all became an excuse.  See...I have had this suspicious mole...and I just didn't want to know if it was bad.  I liked my little world of denial.

So...I took the plunge and went in last Monday.  I wore sweats so I could just pull the leg of the pant up to show him the mole.  No need for me to get completely undressed this visit, because, as stated earlier, my main purpose in this visit was for my eczema.  As Dr. Sanders came in all happy and jolly we talked about my eczema and then I casually mentioned my mole.  He took one look at it and said..."Let's get you undressed."  Great.  Just what I was trying to avoid.  A full body search.

Dr. Sanders felt that he needed to biopsy the mole on my leg.  Fortunately he felt that was the only one.  He said he would call in 7-10 days with the results.

On Wednesday, I went to pick up my eczema prescription at Dan's.  I decided to forgo the cart and carry Beckham back to the pharmacy.  Bad choice.  As we were trying to leave, Beckham wanted to pull everything down on every shelf...and my cell phone rang.  I answered it because it was an unknown phone number...and it was Dr. Sanders.  It had only been two days.  I knew it wasn't good.  He asked if I had a second, and I said yes...not reveling that I was struggling trying to pull my son down the isles of the grocery store.  He proceeded to give me the news.   Not great news, but deep down I knew...Melanoma.

Yep.  Round two.  Dr. Sanders explained to me, in great detail what he found, but I was a loss because (a) I have had enough bad new this month to last a life time (b) I was distracted by my handsome/cute/naughty little boy.  I remember the doctor said it wasn't as bad as last time, but he was still concerned.  He said something about cutting less out this time and proceeded to schedule the surgery for December 8th...and of course, my mother will be out of town.

Three thoughts I have on this subject...

1.  Everything bad happens to me when my parent's are out of town.  Specifically my mother.  My dog died, my first cancer surgery, invitro...and many many more I don't want to think about right now.  I think I will make sure they never leave again which is a lost cause, because does it seem like they are out of town every other week to anyone else?  So, make a mental note if you hear my parents are out of town call to make sure I am alive.

2.  I don't really have the mental capacity to deal with this right now.  My mind swirls with thoughts of having another baby, not with sun damage.  I assume it is not a good thing to find two cancerous mole when you are under the age of 30.  Luckly, melanoma is highly treatable and easy to cure as long as it is caught early.

Enough ranting and raving.  Sorry I haven't posted about this until now.  I am living in my own state of denial.  I am eating lots of cookies and doing lots of shopping.  Think happy thoughts for me.