32 Weeks...

Time just seems to fly by! These last two weeks, I have worked hard on declutering the baby's room.  Basically the room was my official dumping ground of things I didn't know where else to put.  I have really procrastinated this task.  I always seemed to find it more important to take Beckham swimming:)  But...I finally did it.  We have been selling a bunch of things on KSL and Micah put up a new storage rack in our garage to help place things that have no other place.  I even declutered the babies closet which might have had a bomb explode in it;)

Now I feel ready to start the preparations.  Beckham and I went and picked out a new light for the baby's room.  I also got a couple of paint colors to test out on one of the walls.  Hopefully things will really start moving along.

A couple things I realized this week, or should I say I have been reminded of.  I know that many women hate being pregnant.  They think its horrible, so I probably drive them nuts because I seem to be so positive about it.  I get excited about the silliest things like being kept awake by kicks, doctor appointments, not being able to fit into me clothes...But everyone comes from a different journey in life.  Everyone has had different trials and trauma.  I get that pregnancy is hard.  There are so many ways your body changes.  So many different elements.  But... to me, being pregnant is a miracle.  Everyday I wake up to the realization that this may be one of the greatest blessings I may ever be given.  So many of my members of my family have pregnancy issues.  Basically...getting pregnant and keeping the baby alive.

I have a cousin, Rebecca, who is my age.  She has been trying for a very long time to conceive.  She has had several miscarriages, and was looking towards adoption.  Over the 4th of July her parents announced she was expecting a little girl.  They waited a long time to tell anyone because of all the problems she had.  She was 22 weeks...last week Rebecca's kidneys started shutting down.  The baby had to be delivered and was still born.  My heart just broke for her.  I can't imagine coming all that way to have it all taken away.  (I thought adoption was hard.)  I can't imagine her desire just to be a mom...and not being able to make that happen.  It is so easy for so many, but so unattainable for so many others.  That is why I am positive.  That is why I feel like I am a miracle.  That is why I cannot complain.  Because I have been on that other side.  I have hurt and ached and now I get to experience everything I wanted.

Last night, I told Micah that I felt the happiest I had ever been.  I had an amazing little boy with the cutest skinniest legs...Beckham.  I have a loving, patient, sexy husband, and I am carrying a miracle.  I am blessed...