If/Then...

As most of you know, my cousin's little boy, Critter, has Leukemia.  This last round of chemo has been especially brutal.  He was very close to being admitted into the ICU.  On Sunday, we had a family fast for Critter and his family.

Every little tidbit I hear about Critter can send me in a tailspin.  I take it very hard.  This past week, I've stayed up crying or wakeup with nightmares.  I can't imagine what my cousin is going through.  I only wish I could take part of their burden from them.  Having gone through an excruciating trial myself, I can only imagine how they feel...and I am sure even that is only a fraction of what it truly is like.

Nikki posted a few reflections while rocking Critter to sleep.  Some of these thoughts were so amazingly beautiful.  It reminded me that while we are experiencing hardship, when our soul is the rawest, it is then we are so incredibly close the spirit.  I want to remember a couple of them, so I decided to write them here so I can always come back to them...

Sometimes the soul will ache so much you think your heart will not be able to beat again. It is almost an insult to the soul that the heart keeps plodding along. It is then that you realize that they are two separate things bound for different worlds.


Everyone has faith shaking experiences. Recognize them and take your concerns to the Lord. If you don't turn to him there is nowhere else to go.